Dec 162010

I guess you learn a little every day.

Saying ‘god damn‘ is, apparently, about as extreme an expletive as it is possible to use when in the company of a christian. As I recently upset someone by defending a friend that used the expression I learned a lot in a short space of time.

So I guess that it is time to temper my language somewhat and have therefore decided that rather than  yelling ‘god damn‘, I will replace the phrase with something less offensive.

Doing a little research turned up the following list of potential replacements…..

Begorrah –> By God
Bejabbers –> By Jesus
By George –> By God
By golly –> By God’s body
By gosh –> By God
By gum –> By God
By Jove –> By God
Chrissakes –> For Christ’s sake
Cor blimey –> God blind me
Crikey –> Christ
Criminy –> Christ
Cripes –> Christ
Crivvens –> Christ defend us
Dad gum –> God damn
Dagnabbit –> God damn it
Dagnammit –> God damn it
Dang –> Damn
Dangnabbit –> God damn it
Dangnation –> Damnation
Darn –> Damn
Darnation –> Damnation
Doggone –> God damn
Drat –> God rot it
Egad –> A God
For crying out loud –> For Christ’s sake
For Pete’s sake –> For St. Peter’s sake
For the love of Mike –> For St. Michael’s sake
Gadzooks –> God’s hooks
Gat Dangit –> God damn it
Gee –> Jesus
Gee whizz –> Jesus
Gee willikers –> Jesus
Godfrey Daniel –> God
Golly Gee willikers –> Jesus
Good garden party –> Good God
Good grief –> Good God
Goodness gracious –> Good God
Gorblimey –> God blind me
Gosh –> God
Gosh darned –> God damned
Heck –> Hell
Holy spit –> Holy shit
Jason Crisp –> Jesus Christ
Jebus –> Jesus
Jeepers Creepers –> Jesus Christ
Jeez –> Jesus
Jeezy Creezy –> Jesus Christ
Jehosaphat –> Jesus
Jiminy Christmas –> Jesus Christ
Jiminy Cricket –> Jesus Christ
Judas Priest –> Jesus Christ
Lawks a mercy –> Lord have mercy
My goodness –> My God
My gosh –> My God
Odds-bodkins –> God’s sweet body
Sacré bleu –> Sang de Dieu (God’s blood)
Strewth –> God’s Truth
Suffering succotash –> Suffering Saviour
Tarnation –> Damnation
Wish to goodness –> Wish to God
Zounds –> God’s wounds

Now to me, they all seem a tad silly, obviously ‘everyone’ knows the actual meaning of each one, so why disguise the word ?

Fear of a name seems irrational to me. As J.K. Rowling put it

‘Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.’ .

So are we scared of saying God, Jesus, Allah, Zeus etc ? Simply because we are scared of our (your) imaginary friends ?

If ‘taking the lords name in vein’ is so wrong, why does the single most religious person I know use the phrase ‘Oh my god‘ on such a regular basis ? Surely the ten commandments mention something like that ?

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

So if the third most important commandment is to not use ‘the name’ in vein, yet Christians use it ‘all the time’, why can I not use it ?

I see no real difference at all in saying ‘Gosh darned’ and  ‘God damned’. They mean exactly the same, only one is politically correct and well, that is something I struggle with. So I need a phrase that is short, sweet and nice and easy to express a respectful level of annoyance.

I figure that the easiest thing is to fall back on the British phrases that my American friends do not understand……

  3 Responses to “A Bit Bloody Sensitive…..”

  1. The most religious man you know, does not shout his belief from the rooftops,nor does he blaspheme.However his faith has remained strong throughout his life in spite of the sometime heavy blows handed out by mother nature.Even with your probable lack of faith ,I say, God bless you and all you care for…………………………….Pop

  2. Actually Pop, the comment regarding the ‘single most religious person I know’ was not aimed at you, it was aimed at a plethora of ‘born again’ types that seem to feel that being a believer seems to demand that you preach at everyone and force their beliefs onto you.

    But, thanks for reading and taking a moment to reply 🙂

  3. My favorite is Cheese and Rice for Jesus Christ. 😀 Makes me laugh every time I say it.

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